It begins as an uneasiness that I push down and pretend is not there. I busy myself with chores. This time I cleaned our entire garage in four hours. That night when I laid down to sleep, proud of my accomplishment, there was the question sitting like a rock in my gut waiting for an answer. Taunting me, telling me I could clean for weeks and never escape until I faced it. The question? What did I have to say about New Years? I rolled over and went to sleep having no idea.

The next day I tackled loads of laundry and more miles on the treadmill and elliptical than I had ever done. This time instead of sleeping I turned on the TV and watched The Kennedy Center Honors. Halfway through the show I realized I had been smiling nonstop since I had switched it on. Seeing the lifetime achievements of artists passionate about their work brought an undescribable joy to me. Is that what I had to say – follow your passion in the new year? Maybe.

I have four people who I consider my teachers. Eckhart Tolle, Deepak Chopra, Sue Monk Kidd and Oprah. Their understanding of life is far beyond mine and I often turn to their words to learn. Tonight I browsed Oprah’s website knowing I would find what I was looking for. I did.

When I asked myself how I felt about this new year and if I was going to set any goals or resolutions one phrase came to mind. I am going to be me. I am going to be the real me, not the me I think some people want me to be or the me that has to play a certain role. I am going to be 100% me and if that means considering my feelings before others than so be it. Why? Because I finally realized how much inner turmoil I cause myself in trying to protect others feelings. I realize how much I hurt myself in doing what I think “I should do” instead of what I truly want to do. Not being true to myself – causes pain and I finally get it. There is freedom in being who you are. Freedom when you are confident that your motivations and actions are true.

What did I see on Oprah’s site? I discovered the next book I will read and I learned a lesson about pain. There will always be pain in life. An accident, a loved one lost, the ending of a relationship, even saying good-bye to a child about to begin college. I can make that pain my identity and use it as an excuse, letting it affect my every day life or I can acknowledge the pain and be a lake. Watch and you will see what I mean.

Oprah Shares a Favorite Passage from The Book of Awakening

Oprah shares one of her favorite passages from The Book of Awakening by Mark Nepo. Plus, Mark gives an example of how he used the wisdom of the passage in his own life.


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