“You complete me.” Most people know the line from Jerry Maguire. What a wonderful scene, right? It triggers thoughts of romance, marriage and happily ever after. It’s the kind of thing I used to dream about. One day I’d find my true love and it’d be magical. He’d think I was the best thing that ever happened to him and he couldn’t live without me. What I didn’t realize was that he was a guy. Unless I was standing in front of him naked with a beer, he probably wasn’t thinking about me. Where did I get those ideas that led to such a rich fantasy life? Our society. When I was in high school I had a friend who carried around a bridal magazine. She was planning her wedding before she had her diploma.
We have shows like The Bachelor and movies that tell of how the princess found her prince and they lived happily ever after. The message: We’re not enough until we have a man.
This feeling of not being enough runs deep. It can cause us to become overachievers, perfectionists, ultra- religious, over or underweight, critical, depressed, addicted, basically miserable. It’s the reason movies and TV shows thrive when they contain scenes like the one in Jerry Maguire because they tap into the universal feeling of not being enough.
What can be difficult is distinguishing between reality and entertainment not only for teenagers but for adults too. No one can make us feel complete. We can create a romantic moment like we see in the movies, post it to Facebook and get lots of likes. That’s fun. But it’s just a brief snapshot of life. In order to live with peace, we must love ourselves and know that we are enough. No man, woman, child or Lamborghini is going to fulfill a longing in our soul. It’s up to us to heal ourselves.