We took their leashes off and watched as they bolted across the sand splashing in the waves, sunlight on their backs, running as fast as their legs would take them. Their excitement over their newfound freedom filled me with happiness. The pups I once held in my palms were now ninety-pound dogs ready to explore the world. They kept going and going until all we could see were two wagging tails in the distance. Worry seeped in. Maybe we gave them too much freedom? What if they got lost or hurt?
My mother-in-law was sitting outside a store in her power wheelchair drinking a cup of coffee waiting for her ride when a stranger walked by and dropped some coins into her coffee cup. Imagine her surprise! She had no idea she needed help.
A quiet house
Door opens to smiling faces
My babies are home
Food filling the fridge and spilling onto the counter
And a giant pan of mac-n-cheese
Familiar voices fill the living room late into the night, teens that have grown to adults
My heart content, feeling a peace I never fully understood I’d lost
All is well
Conversations at breakfast, mugs of coffee refilled
Sunny, crisp air, days with books in our hands for hours
Decorations pulled from bins, scattered throughout the house
Icicle lights sparkling
Pups tails wagging, waiting by their leashes
Memories fill the space we call home. Our separate lives become one.
We are family. We are love. We are together.
The gentle unease returns
Backpack full. He’s leaving
“Text when you arrive.”
“I’ll see you soon.”
Waving, watching the wheels drive away
Pups tails are still
One last movie
One last morning coffee
One more goodbye
The hum of the dishwasher
The shuffling of paws on the floor
A peace is missing
My babies have learned to fly
A quiet house
The storm’s been brewing for a year. I’ve seen it off in the distance. I’ve felt its presence every day. It’s the storm of change. Most days I’ve ignored it, but now it’s overhead, ready to blow the past away forcing me to start anew.
Those who follow me on Instagram and my KD Rausin Facebook page know how much I love my pups Roscoe and Smudge. Watching them grow, seeing how intelligent and curious they are, has brought me more joy than I ever imagined.
“You complete me.” Most people know the line from Jerry Maguire. What a wonderful scene, right? It triggers thoughts of romance, marriage and happily ever after. It’s the kind of thing I used to dream about. One day I’d find my true love and it’d be magical. He’d think I was the best thing that ever happened to him and he couldn’t live without me. What I didn’t realize was that he was a guy. Unless I was standing in front of him naked with a beer, he probably wasn’t thinking about me. Where did I get those ideas that led to such a rich fantasy life? Our society. When I was in high school I had a friend who carried around a bridal magazine. She was planning her wedding before she had her diploma.