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A quiet house

Door opens to smiling faces

My babies are home



Food filling the fridge and spilling onto the counter





And a giant pan of mac-n-cheese

Familiar voices fill the living room late into the night, teens that have grown to adults

My heart content, feeling a peace I never fully understood I’d lost

All is well

Conversations at breakfast, mugs of coffee refilled

Sunny, crisp air, days with books in our hands for hours

Decorations pulled from bins, scattered throughout the house

Icicle lights sparkling

Pups tails wagging, waiting by their leashes

Memories fill the space we call home. Our separate lives become one.

We are family. We are love. We are together.

The gentle unease returns

Backpack full. He’s leaving

“Text when you arrive.”

“I’ll see you soon.”

Waving, watching the wheels drive away


Pups tails are still

Three remain

One last movie

One last morning coffee

One more goodbye


The hum of the dishwasher

The shuffling of paws on the floor

A peace is missing

My babies have learned to fly

A quiet house

The storm’s been brewing for a year. I’ve seen it off in the distance. I’ve felt its presence every day. It’s the storm of change. Most days I’ve ignored it, but now it’s overhead, ready to blow the past away forcing me to start anew.

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Those who follow me on Instagram and my KD Rausin Facebook page know how much I love my pups Roscoe and Smudge. Watching them grow, seeing how intelligent and curious they are, has brought me more joy than I ever imagined.

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“You complete me.” Most people know the line from Jerry Maguire. What a wonderful scene, right? It triggers thoughts of romance, marriage and happily ever after. It’s the kind of thing I used to dream about. One day I’d find my true love and it’d be magical. He’d think I was the best thing that ever happened to him and he couldn’t live without me. What I didn’t realize was that he was a guy. Unless I was standing in front of him naked with a beer, he probably wasn’t thinking about me. Where did I get those ideas that led to such a rich fantasy life? Our society. When I was in high school I had a friend who carried around a bridal magazine. She was planning her wedding before she had her diploma.

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“Courage doesn’t always roar, sometimes it’s the quiet voice at the end of the day whispering, ‘I will try again tomorrow.” -Mary Anne Radmacher

Dear Arielle,

Yesterday when you told me you didn’t make the team my heart broke for you. I knew it was your dream. I’ve watched as year after year you practiced twice a day putting your training before all else. I knew the lessons you were learning through dedication to your sport were life lessons few got the opportunity to learn, but I also knew that life lessons were not what you were after; PR’s were what mattered.

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I sat at the  airport. Waiting. They needed me. Time slowed as I scanned my memories searching for guidance on how to handle the situation. I came up with nothing. I was on my own. My children were in a terrible car accident while I was in Mexico. My  son escaped with only a rash on his neck from the seatbelt. However, my ten-year-old daughter, Arielle, was in intensive care. We were told she had a bruise on her spinal cord. She couldn’t move her legs.

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