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The storm’s been brewing for a year. I’ve seen it off in the distance. I’ve felt its presence every day. It’s the storm of change. Most days I’ve ignored it, but now it’s overhead, ready to blow the past away forcing me to start anew.

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Those who follow me on Instagram and my KD Rausin Facebook page know how much I love my pups Roscoe and Smudge. Watching them grow, seeing how intelligent and curious they are, has brought me more joy than I ever imagined.

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“You complete me.” Most people know the line from Jerry Maguire. What a wonderful scene, right? It triggers thoughts of romance, marriage and happily ever after. It’s the kind of thing I used to dream about. One day I’d find my true love and it’d be magical. He’d think I was the best thing that ever happened to him and he couldn’t live without me. What I didn’t realize was that he was a guy. Unless I was standing in front of him naked with a beer, he probably wasn’t thinking about me. Where did I get those ideas that led to such a rich fantasy life? Our society. When I was in high school I had a friend who carried around a bridal magazine. She was planning her wedding before she had her diploma.

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“Courage doesn’t always roar, sometimes it’s the quiet voice at the end of the day whispering, ‘I will try again tomorrow.” -Mary Anne Radmacher

Dear Arielle,

Yesterday when you told me you didn’t make the team my heart broke for you. I knew it was your dream. I’ve watched as year after year you practiced twice a day putting your training before all else. I knew the lessons you were learning through dedication to your sport were life lessons few got the opportunity to learn, but I also knew that life lessons were not what you were after; PR’s were what mattered.

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I sat at the  airport. Waiting. They needed me. Time slowed as I scanned my memories searching for guidance on how to handle the situation. I came up with nothing. I was on my own. My children were in a terrible car accident while I was in Mexico. My  son escaped with only a rash on his neck from the seatbelt. However, my ten-year-old daughter, Arielle, was in intensive care. We were told she had a bruise on her spinal cord. She couldn’t move her legs.

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We were two hundred and fifty women from around the world. Doctors, teachers, therapists, moms and writers represented just a few of the women I met. The weekend was magical! I attended Spiritual Solutions at the Chopra Center in Carlsbad, California. Generally, upon meeting new people, one of the first questions asked is, “What do you do?” Immediately I felt the difference in being amongst all women when the question was not What do you do? It was, “What brought you here?”

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