The Dark Room

The room is empty, pitch black; I’m standing in the doorway trying to decide whether to walk in or shut the door and move on. I take a step. There’s a light switch. I turn it on, but it only illuminates as far as my next step. Curious, I continue knowing I could escape, run out slam the door and return to the comfort of what I know.

Little by little, I make my way to the center of the room switching on more lights as I go, excitement stirs, I remember. It feels as though I’m standing in an abandoned amusement park watching as one ride after the other comes to life. Bells ringing, music, laughter, the chaos surrounds me. My mind takes it all in spinning like the carousel. I’m remembering. Sparks of creativity become flames. Alive! This place made me feel alive! I don’t want to stop. I want to explore every crevice of the room. I go and go, and go, until I’m at the top of the Sooperdooperlooper looking down, frightened, gripping the bar.  My stomach twists. What did I do? Why did I open the door? What made me think I belonged here?

I recognize the voice. It’s the one that’s plagued me since childhood. It follows me wherever I go. Fear. I’m frozen, looking down at the giant drop! Tears well.

Breathe. Another voice whispers. Fear’s antithesis. Just breathe. Look at the beauty around you. The smiles, the music, the laughter. Where there was darkness, you let in light. It wasn’t a mistake. You know that. You can only be brave when faced with fear. Now, Let go! Throw your hands in the air and enjoy the ride!