How Peloton Helped Our Marriage

This past July, we added a new member to our family—a Peloton bike. Eric had been a spinning enthusiast for years while I preferred running. We both missed going to the gym, and we knew we needed to reclaim our exercise routines for our health.

The weeks before our bike arrived, Eric counted the days and joined the app. He ordered shoes, weights, and headphones while I took a reluctant, it’s not running, but I’ll give it a try attitude.

The morning it arrived was like Christmas for Eric. The delivery men put it together outside due to Covid-19. Then Eric and I carried it upstairs to our new workout room. He got on right away while I watched, still fearful of what to expect. Change and I often play tug-a-war.

My first ride was unlike any class I’d ever taken! Suddenly I had the best of both worlds, a solid piece of equipment with incredible instructors and no anxiety from being at a crowded gym. I could get ready to workout in minutes, choose the class I wanted, and wear any mismatched outfit I desired. Plus, never in all of my years of fitness training had I experienced teachers who inspired me the way the Peloton instructors did. So much of what I’d been reading as far as mindfulness, facing fears, self-compassion, was mirrored on my workouts. Be kind to yourself. The fact that you showed up means you’ve already won. Their words stuck with me throughout the rest of the day.

Eric and I are very different when it comes to spinning. He’s all about the Leaderboard and competition. He wants his heart rate in zones 4 and 5 for most of the ride. He strives to be in the top ten percent. That’s ten percent of thousands of riders! I’m the opposite. I get on the Leaderboard to give high fives because it’s fun to be at home and cheer someone on who’s in London, Canada, Texas, or New York. When my heart rate climbs to zone 4, I have a natural; this hurts alarm that slows my feet. Sometimes I fight it, and sometimes I remember I get a gold star just for showing up! Competing with others isn’t in my DNA. Guaranteed, I wasn’t the first-grader claiming that it was my turn to be the line leader. As long as I’m improving, it doesn’t matter how many people are in front of me. In fact, whenever I’ve tried to move up on the Leaderboard, testing what Eric strives for, it’s made me want to stop. The fun disappears.

Soon we both had a workout streak of four weeks and then eight weeks. He cycled most days while I tried the strength, yoga, and meditation classes. When I went on a road trip to help our daughter move, I kept my streak going by listening to meditations. After years of meditating on my own, the simple act of being held accountable to keep a daily streak ensured that I meditated every day.

Now, we’re on a thirteen-week streak. Every evening we ask each other if we’ve done our Peloton workout. We learned to do this after hopping out of bed at eleven-thirty pm. upon the realization that our streak was in jeopardy. Thank goodness for the sleep meditations!

I’d never been one who cared much for awards or badges, but I have to admit it brings a smile when I look at my profile and see decorative achievements for milestones I’ve completed. When I receive a text that tells me I hit a PR, it’s a jolt of positivity in my day, much like the words of encouragement from the instructors.

Peloton has brought the two of us closer. We talk about our favorite classes. Eric tells me about other members he follows who inspire him. He encourages me to brave, keeping my heart rate in the higher zones, and I encourage him to continue trying the meditation classes.

Peloton has also been a great lesson in self-compassion for me. Four years ago, when I was training for a marathon, I was incredibly hard on myself. If I only ran ten miles and needed to run fifteen, I stressed instead of congratulating myself for running ten miles! I carried this throughout every aspect of my life, from writing to my marriage. My expectations often prevented me from seeing the good. If I didn’t hit the goal I expected, then there was no celebrating, only berating. Peloton has taught me the importance of positive self-talk for every effort I make toward my health or any goal. What a difference it’s made!

In this time of change, Peloton has been our anchor on the stormiest of days. When I look back at this year, I’ll be grateful for the stationary bike that kept us moving forward.

Photo by James Orr on Unsplash