Searching for Silver Linings

I’m curled up in bed. The room is dark. Pain radiates from my temples down my neck. My mind races telling me my to-do list gets longer every hour I shut-out the world. It’s wasted time, and I should fight to keep going. Finally, I drift off to sleep, and if I’m really lucky, the medicine takes effect so when I wake I’m pain-free.

There’s magic in that moment when suddenly the pain is gone. I’m able to see and feel the beauty of the day differently than I had before. Simply being able to stand, without feeling nauseous, doing the dishes or folding clothes is a blessing. I’m able to stare at a computer screen again and continue writing. I’m able to drive because I’m no longer drowsy from the medication. Basically, I’m grateful. I’m grateful for all the boring everyday things I do because I get to do them without a throbbing head.

I realize in life when things happen that are difficult, a break-up, a sickness, a holiday that can bring mixed emotions, a loss, there are always at least two ways to view the situation. It’s easy to see the sadness. The pain is real but hidden in the darkness are silver linings. That’s where the lesson is.

My migraines have made me appreciate my health. They’ve  helped me see the beauty of the mundane. When my husband takes the time to check in and see how I’m doing, it shows me how much he cares. When my friends research medications, make sure I’ve made doctor appointments, and keep a close eye on me, asking how I’m doing, I’m overwhelmed with their kindness and compassion. I feel loved.

Pain whether physical or emotional is real. It reminds us we’re alive. It challenges us to find the beauty of life.

“Never waste your suffering. … Suffering just happens, constantly and randomly, and if you don’t make anything out of it, then it happened to you for no reason. But suffering can also be the greatest possible invitation to transform — but only if you accept that invitation, and only if you go through a complete catharsis, and only if you actually change yourself because of what you’ve experienced. But that part is up to you. Only you can execute a catharsis in your own life. Suffering without catharsis is nothing but wasted pain. And you should never waste your pain, never waste your suffering. It’s powerful stuff, the most powerful stuff there is. Use it. Transform from it. Learn. Grow. Be better.” Elizabeth Gilbert references Jim Maclaren