Unapologetically Authentic

My husband and I danced in our kitchen. What began as a story about how one of my songs interrupted his Spotify playlist turned to me telling Alexa to play the song, and then the two of us swaying to the beat. It was one of those moments that capture joy and settle in for a lifetime, like the first time we met or the first time his hand brushed against mine.

Being at home this past year has taught me the magic of such moments. Whether it’s spending time with my horse, gardening on a beautiful day, conquering a tough ride on Peloton, or reading to kids on Zoom, this year has allowed me to find what brings me joy. Unapologetically.

I’ve learned that as we go through life opportunities arise and we get to choose whether to follow the same path or seek an open door. Deciding which doors to open and which paths to take has a lot to do with our beliefs about ourselves. Only it can be hard to know what we believe because our beliefs are so ingrained in who we are. We don’t understand we could be missing great opportunities because of our limiting beliefs.

So, how do you know what you believe? What do you believe about your strength, goodness, or ability to love and be loved? If you make a list of labels you’d give yourself, your age, gender, race, profession, religion, marital status, those would all lead to beliefs you hold about yourself. When I turned fifty, I had to delve into what society taught me fifty-year-old women were and challenge any beliefs I held about my age. Did I believe I was declining, forgetting, not as capable as when I was in my twenties? No! I’m more fit, more content, I have more time to learn and do things I love, and I feel like I’m living a new exciting chapter in my life. Getting older is awesome because I understand so much more about life than I did in my twenties.

A belief can’t be challenged until it’s recognized. Knowing what we believe about ourselves gives us the freedom to change it. The more we understand ourselves, the better choices we’ll make when life presents us with a door leading to an opportunity. Which door we choose is a reflection of our beliefs and where we are at that time in our life.

For too many years, I tried to fit into a mold of what I thought I should be. When I didn’t enjoy parties like everyone else in high school, I thought something was wrong with me. I felt like the only young adult who enjoyed being the designated driver.

When I was raising kids and life was crazy busy, and I had a tough time managing all the stress, I kept adding more to my plate because I thought I’d toughen up, eventually learn to handle it all because, in my eyes, that’s what was expected. Any frustration I felt from exhaustion led to guilt. Why couldn’t I do it all and feel great? What was wrong with me?

Then life slowed, and little by little, I started to realize I was more tortoise-like than cheetah, and that was perfectly okay.

I began my journey to discovering who I really was instead of constantly comparing myself to everyone else or living a life that society says I have to live at a certain age.

And when I believed in me, the me who I actually was and not the me who tried to please everyone, doors opened to more opportunities that were a great fit.

What do I know and believe now? Living life unapologetically authentic leads to happiness, inner strength, doors to opportunities that are right for me, and magical moments like dancing in the kitchen with my husband.

Photo by Magdalena Smolnicka on Unsplash