I’m Stressed Therefore I’m Important
I’m Stressed Therefore I’m Important
This is a common belief in our society. The busier you are the more activities you have to fill your life and the more hours you spend at work equals your value in the eyes of others and yourself. The problem is when you don’t enjoy your work or you don’t enjoy having every second of your life scheduled then suddenly you’re sick, stressed and unable to find the peace in life. Back in 2007 I thought something was wrong with me because I couldn’t handle having a full-time job, taking care of my kids, my home, and being the mom I wanted to be. I’d snap at my kids or my husband, I’d beat myself up over not keeping the house clean, I’d feel extreme guilt when all I wanted to do was stay home and not go see my children play soccer or perform. At night, I’d try to fall asleep and instead replay over and over in my mind situations at school that I thought I could have handled better. When I finally did have a few days off I’d stress over going back to it all. Sunday’s were not good. There was always this underlying feeling haunting me whispering that the 5 am. alarm was coming soon. It’s no wonder I spent many Sundays locked away writing a novel and lesson plans because it helped me cope and it kept me from ruining the day for my family. I thought this was life and I’d have to learn to adapt that the problem was my inability to handle everything and eventually I’d learn.
When we took a trip to Europe the summer of 2007 I brought along the book The Secret. I also read Sue Monk Kidd’s When The Heart Waits and Firstlight. Eventually, I found Eckhart Tolle’s The Power Of Now and A New Earth. All of the books opened my eyes to living a life I was meant to live. The whisper that plagued my Sunday’s was the same one that told me there was a better way to fulfillment–A way that was designed just for me and if I listened carefully enough I would discover it.
I told Eric that things had to change. He agreed. I was scared. Financially it didn’t appear as though I could leave my job. Then one day I was walking my class to lunch and suddenly I knew it was time. It wasn’t one specific incident that caused me to go into the principal’s office that day and tell her I wasn’t returning the following school year just an overwhelming feeling as if the whisper became a shout and carried with it a light that lit my darkest fears. In that moment I knew it was time for me to live my life unapologetically my way even though it meant no longer being a full-time working mom. I loved teaching but not testing and I simply couldn’t do it all and be the mom I wanted to be. I was not one of those women who thrives on busy schedules. Trying to be someone I was not was slowly killing me and if that sounds drastic then please watch Dr. Rankin’s Ted Talk. Five years have flown by since that day and I have no regrets. I’m a better person for following my own path.
Today, I’m able to recognize stress much easier than back then and navigate my life when I feel it’s doing me harm. I no longer believe I have to live my life like anyone else. I know my importance comes from a deep belief within myself and not what anyone thinks based on what I do. Eleanor Roosevelt said: “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
So what is stress? According to Dr. Lissa Rankin it’s:
- Social Isolation and loneliness
- Selling your soul for a paycheck
- A pessimistic world view
- Fearful, anxious, worried thoughts
- Toxic relationships
- Knowing you have a song in your heart that has yet to be sung
- Feeling out of touch with your life’s purpose
- Negative beliefs about your health
- Pretending to be something your not
- Feeling disconnected from Source
Dr. Rankin addresses the question: Is there scientific proof we can heal ourselves? She says, yes, and it begins with addressing the causes of stress in our lives. Stress doesn’t make us important it hides everything that’s important from our sight until we’re finally ready to stop and enjoy them.
3 Comments
Alissa Constant
I love this…it’s so true. Prior to reading your blog I had decided to finish out the year with my volunteer jobs and then call it quits. I know there will be someone else waiting in the wings to take over (there always is)even though I worry about what will happen when I leave. Thanks for reinforcing my decision with this great blog. It’s time to sit back, take a deep breath and figure out what I want to do next. There are too many things in life that I want to give a try so 2014 should be interesting – and fun!
kdrausin
Thank you, Lisa. Taking a deep breath and listening to that inner voice is so important. The busier we get the easier it is to ignore what we really love. Here’s to starting fresh and finding your passion in 2014!
Jamie Ayres
Interesting . . . thanks for sharing!